It was the summer of ’16. I was young and restless… when I look back now, that summer seemed to last forever…those were the best days of my life. Oh, whoops, I got distracted. It was more like I was in my mid-thirties, working full-time and the summer flew by (but that doesn’t have the same ring to it as Bryan Adams’ Summer of ’69). And although life was enjoyable, I’m not sure those were the best days of my life.
That summer, I remember talking with a friend about relationship troubles. Or more accurately, we were discussing the lack there of a relationship with which to have troubles. Like so many other nights that summer, my girlfriends and I had tickets to a concert at Red Rocks. This particular night, as we waited for the Avett Brothers to begin, my friend told me about a book she was reading – specifically, a self-help book. She wasn’t too far along, but it was giving her a new perspective of herself and who she is in relationships.
She explained how it was a seven-week series with daily readings accompanied by various exercises. She told me about the very first lesson, a meditation of sorts where you sit cross-legged, open and close your arms like you’re hugging the air in front of you and repeat:
“I open myself fully to give and receive love.”
It might have been the Summer Shadies and 24-ounce Colorado microbrews or perhaps it was the joyous vibes that always fill the oxygen-depleted air at Red Rocks. With the setting sun behind us, the sky exploded into a rainbow of colors and the amphitheater’s monoliths started to glow. What was a crowd of thousands became a single unit as we perfectly harmonized a well-known ballad. Whatever it was that summer night, that meditative mantra hit a chord with me. As the evening gleamed on, my friends and I open-air hugged everyone and everything. We laughed, hopeful at the possibilities it could bring.
So, naturally, I went home and bought Calling in “The One”: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of your Life. I started off strong. I mean, let’s be honest, I already nailed Lesson 1. I eagerly worked through the first and second weeks, truly feeling like I was helping myself (presumably the purpose of a self-help book). Each week highlighted a different area of one’s life in need of deep exploration – Week One: Preparing for Love, Week Two: Completions. Sure, I guess I could use a little help learning how to honor my needs and picture a soul connection.
Well, then came Week Three: Healing Core Wounds. Lesson 15 started by explaining how “the first year of life has but one primary task: we must learn to trust.” The lesson continued in detail about how we carry scars and pains from our childhood that diminish our ability to love and be loved. Simply put, these core wounds are carved by our parents and “interfere with the successful establishment of a solid self.”
I stopped right there. It wasn’t true. I undoubtedly trusted – knew – from an early age that my parents loved me. Even when they hated me for drinking underage or lying about where I was, they loved me. Even when it was best we weren’t speaking, we loved each other. And as I became an adult and they questioned my life choices, they loved me every bit as much as the day I was born. So, I put the book down. I couldn’t go on. My singleness in that summer of ’16 was not rooted in an inability to trust in love seeded by my parents.
Apparently I could only blame myself. Needless to say, I never opened the book again.
Now, my parents will be the first to tell you my relationship with Tache looks NOTHING like theirs. But the love they showed me I was capable of giving and receiving is at the core of it. I wouldn’t be the person I am today or in the relationship I am today without the love I have felt from my parents my entire life. I probably don’t say it enough to them – thank you.
Happy 49th Anniversary!
A storm on the horizon.
We went to see Zac Brown, one of their favorites!
What most of my photos from Red Rocks’ shows look like.
